Reflections
by KPtwistepghost
Summary: Silena confronts Luke about wanting out of the other side. This takes place before BOTL. Gives the struggle that Silena has to ensue to save her friends and Charlie.


**Hey guys! Here i am with another one-shot! This one is showing the two sides of Silena. The spy and the one who wants out. She has a talk with Luke and he doesn't take it very well. As we all know.**

**Anyway i hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO and got title/prompt form Enx2103**

* * *

8. Reflections

"Silena? Silena You've been in there for over an hour what's wrong?" She could hear her brothers and sisters saying through the bathroom door. She sighed running her hands through her hair, sitting on the lid of the toilet. She couldn't breathe. She could barely think. She just got back from a secret meeting with one Luke Castellan.

* * *

_She made her way through the thick forest of Camp to the secluded spot by Zeus's Fist. It was common enough that if someone came along she wouldn't have to worry about an excuse and there was a million hiding places for Luke. Upon entering the area She saw him standing there as confident as ever. But the way the sun shone on his hair and the smile he gave her as she emerged from the shadows she can remember why she had a crush on him._

_She mentally shook her head clear of those thoughts. She was in love with Charlie now. She was doing this for him. she could feel her ADHD kick it, so she started to tap her fingers against her thigh._

_"What do you have for me?"_

_She took a deep breath before flipping her dark hair over her shoulder, she decided it would be best to have her ideal conversation afterwards. She told him the plan going on so far were actually very minimal; that she couldn't find any other demigods that wanted to join the other side._

_"Well its not much. But we do have a bit so I guess they wouldn't be suspecting something. How's Chris?"_

_"I'm not sure. Clarisse hasn't come out of the Big House in awhile." She was worried for her friend - well acquaintance. They had a good understanding of one another._

_"Just let me know if he gets better or not." Luke demanded looking fierce as usual, but his eyes showed true concern for his cabin mate. Silena could feel almost brotherly love coming in waves from him_

_"I will." She promise him. '_Maybe this will soften him up_'_

_"Good. I"ll get in touch unless something comes up." Luke nodded to her before turning on his heel to walk away from Camp._

Now or never_. "Wait!" Silena stepped foreword her arm extended as if to grab him._

_"What?" He questioned turning back to her._

_"I... I-uh." She dropped her arm tapping her jean clad thigh again. She averted her eyes from his face. She'd never had such a hard time with words before. But in all honesty she was scared of what he would do once she spoke her thoughts._

_Luke's face grew worried. "Silena." He stepped closer to her creating only two feet between them, "What is it?"_

_She took a shuddering breath, "I don't want to be the spy anymore." She said much more confidently then she was expecting._

_"You what?" His face had turned hard again, his eyes piercing through her._

_"I... I want out." She said regaining her confidence. It was out. No use in being soft-spoken; Something Clarisse kind of taught her._

_Luke took another step toward her. "You don't trust that we'll keep you safe? That you're saving all your friends? Your saving lives Silena don't you want that? Don't you want to save Beckendorf?"_

_"I know." She took another steadying breath. He was eerily calm. "But, I just can't live with myself and do this anymore. I can't take the pressure."_

_"Then stay on the ship, we'll send someone else. That'll be much harder seeing as they're not the head counselor and don't have the trust you do, but I could get someone who's good at sneaking to go in. I'm sure _that horse_ would be glad to have a member return." Luke mulled aloud._

_"But Charlie won't go. I'm just not going to leave him. Luke I want out of this. I won't tell the camp of our ordeal, just please. Take this." She dug in her pocket, pulling out the silver bracelet with the scythe charm and thrusted her arm out to him._

_He looked at her and it was so fast she missed it. He grabbed her wrist and squeezed so hard it popped._

_"Oh." She went to pry off his hand but he bent her hand at an odd angle that she had to drop to a knee to keep it from breaking._

_"Just because _you_ won't tell, doesn't mean_ I_ won't."_

What!_ She couldn't believe she hadn't thought of that! "Please Luke. I'm still on your side, I just don't want to... Ah!" He bent her wrist farther._

_He got so close to her face she could see the individual flakes of blue in his eyes. "Either you keep your job or everyone at camp will know that you're a traitor and when you get kicked out you'll have no where else to run except back to me. And that's not a wise decision."_

_"I... please." She felt tears spring to her eyes. "Luke. Please." She was desperate._

_He shook his head letting her go. She instantly cradled her wrist with her other hand. "Keep in mind what I said Silena." He threatened her before disappearing on the other side of the forrest._

* * *

She had to get her breathing under control. If she didn't she'd probably pass out. She didn't know much about medical things, but she thought she heard an Apollo kid talking about something like that.

It took her another 5 minutes to get her body ready to calm down. The knocking on the door subsided but she cold still hear the voices of her brothers and sisters.

"Did something happen with you and Charlie?" Lacy asked.

"Yeah did she finally break his heart?" Drew questioned.

"Drew, she wouldn't do that." Charlotte protested.

"We've all done it. So should she." Drew argued back.

Silena cupped her ears making herself block out their voices. Once she was focused on something else in her head she got up to fix her make-up. She figured she'd do something useful while she was in here.

She grabbed a make up remover cloths from the cabinet and began cleaning off her eyes. Once it was all gone she threw the sheet into the trashcan and looking back to the mirror, and gasped. What she saw wasn't what she was expecting. The girl in the mirror had sad dark eyes that sunk in, deep purple lines underneath, as if she was suffering from insomnia. Her skin was too pale and she wore a permanent frown.

"No." Selina closed her eyes tight, she opened them again, but the pale skinned girl was still there with her unhealthy features. She lifted a hand to her cheek and the girl did the same.

"No. No no no no no."Silena muttered opening the other cabinets grabbing the shared make-up between the cabin and began to put it on.

The girl now reflected her perfectly. Bright brown eyes. No purple underneath them. She was tanner and was wearing a smile, most importantly she wasn't sickly looking. She breathed a sigh of relief.

Perfection.

Well almost.

She put the materials away, doing her best not to look in the mirror. She could do this. She took a deep calming breath. She just had to keep up her normal appearance and avoid mirrors when she was feeling bad.

She took another breath. She had to do this. For Charlie and all her friends and family's safety. She brushed her hair once, before unlocking the bathroom door.

She could do this. She told herself even though a voice in the back of her mind told her she was a _coward_, that she was _wrong_ and she would _fail_.

I can do this.

And she turned the knob of the door.

* * *

**Hey guys! So i hoped you liked it! I know the ending was rushed but i was a little unsure how to end it after she put on her make-up.**

**Please review! I'll take bad or good! **


End file.
